Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Why I Need Grace

After my recent 'faux pas' (as she so kindly put it) concerning the age of a friend, safe to say I felt like a right dork. In case I'd managed to blind more than one person, I am fallible. Quite horribly so, at times more than others.

Have you ever had one of those weeks where it seems you are travelling along very nicely, thank you, and then all of a sudden (so it would seem), the apple cart is upset and there's tragic 'faux pases' on every level of the scale of 1 to 10? (faux pases is incorrect French, but stay with me here...)

What I'm talking about is this. You make a promise that you say you'll do something, and because you didn't write it down that instant, you forgot and it didn't happen, thus the person who was depending on you missed out on something important to them.

On top of that, you grossly miscalculated the age of a friend on your blog (sorry Jen).

On top of that, you took too long getting to a place you needed to be and there was an outbreak of breakdown at the other end.

On top of that you lost something important and searched high and low, unable to find what you needed like air - or so you thought. There's only one place it should be, so where the heck is it!!??

On top of that, you ran out of time in the day thanks to a dozen smaller interruptions that ate into your time budget and left you awake in bed at night, recalculating the day to come.

On top of that, you behaved selfishly to get what you wanted and then felt noticeably yucker afterward because you realised you told yourself you'd never do that again.

On top of that, you were helping someone as a favour and got a little terse when they treated you like their servile entourage, then regretted being terse because we're called to love (yes, you can love with gritted teeth).

On top of that, you got a little slack in a couple of areas because you've already done this thing twenty-five million times before and if you have to care about it one more time, you're gonna pass out. Pass out, or suffer later on for lack of effort - decisions, decisions. Either way, it'll bite you in the butt if you're not giving the one hundred percent that's required again.

On top of that, you know you disappointed God in a number of ways and go to bed helplessly hopeful, falling back on His mercy that is new every morning.

Oh, you get the picture. Sometimes I feel like that has been my week. The point is, when the little bits and pieces all pile up, we need somewhere to go. If I go anywhere else but to God (read: shopping, emails, friends' houses, coffee shops, and yes - even writing), I'm never happy. I need His grace and His forgiveness, and most of all His unrivalled reassurance that tomorrow will be better because He says it can be - if I will choose to believe Him and take Him at His Word.

My goodness. How much I LOVE His Word, my Bible. For me it's a whisper from my Creator, the promise He's paying attention to me after all. Staying near Him amidst life's busies is difficult, particularly when I'm not 'feeling' like I'm on the glory cloud. I need His grace, His anointed empowerment. I need it not just daily, but hourly and minutely, and even secondly.

If life was perfect, I would have no need of God, and that my friends, is the worst kind of existence of all. Am I really as bad as all this? God knows I am, and the ironic beauty of it is that He made me and bought me back knowing what and who He was getting. I am no surprise to Him, and yet He loves me.


Will I ever fully grasp the measure of it? I hope not. I might stop getting amazed :) When I am swamped by my own dorkdom, His grace is sufficient for me. Lord God, You know I need it!

Decide: Can you believe what God thinks of you? Can you believe He wants you for Himself? Can you believe His grace is yours for the taking? Bear in mind, you do have to take it and not just thank Him for it.

"Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10v22-23

Approchons-nous donc de Dieu avec un cœur droit, avec la pleine assurance que donne la foi, le c   ur purifié de toute mauvaise conscience, et le corps lavé d'une eau pure. Restons fermement attachés à l'espérance que nous reconnaissons comme vraie, car celui qui nous a fait les promesses est digne de confiance.

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