Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Locusts and Touros?

Today I find myself in the midst of working on a Business Plan. I'm answering all the questions to the best of my knowledge and research when suddenly the question presents, "HOW can I write a Business Plan when I (feel like I) can barely write a Query Letter?"

Yikes. A moment ago I almost wrote in the clients section, "Locusts and Touros" instead of "Tourists and Locals" (never mind that some of the tourists might be locusts by nature from time to time, eating and devouring everything in sight).

The point is, am I equipped for this? Can I do it the right way--or even the way it needs to be done?

Last week as I discussed this Plan with the relevant party, it occurred to me I have a fear of being inadequate to a task I'm presented with, particularly when the person who has asked me to complete the task believes I am up to it. I hate to disappoint, yet obviously there are times when I do.

What terrible event occurred in my childhood that it carries over now, into my thirties? Well, it was an epiphany in a month of several. It also occurred to me that to isolate myself in this thinking would be the worst part of all. I am NOT the only human who thinks like this, even if I am one of the few who'll admit it. WHERE did the pressure come from to perform, to be so perfect?

First I had to identify the wrong feeling of fear inside, the why behind the fear.

As I keep working on the Plan, I remind myself of verses from the Bible that are promises telling me I am adequate and up to the task. Because God says I am.

So there :)

Will I make mistakes? Absolutely. I'm human (although sometimes I do appear to be super-human like most mothers do). I can give myself permission to make mistakes, and I pray that God gives my fellow man the grace to forgive me when I've made them.

For now, back to the Plan, reminding myself I am adequate to the task ahead.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4v13

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1v7

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. James 1v5


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